Learning, Reflection and Change

I realised for a long time I needed to do something constructive with my life. I had spent to long flitting from one job to another with no real passion. Without trying to sound melodramatic it felt like doors were closing in my face instead of opening . Its never been the ideas I lacked more the ability to focus on one at a time. Because of this I was getting very little of what I wanted to do actually achieved.

My job meant I was only treading water and backwards at that as I was actually been driven further from where I wanted to be. A time had come that instead of merely thinking I knew I had to act on those brainwaves.

I have always had ideas of where I would like to be but no idea of how to actually get there. So after asking for everyone`s opinion, and listening only to the ones that suited me most, I decided to apply for higher education and a degree in Public Relations. I have decided to engage in as much as I possibly can. I am, without trying to sound dull, here to learn and hopefully change the cycle that have been clouding my ability as a person and stopping my ideas from flourishing .

I hope to improve on my talents and past life experiences while at the same time discovering new skills. I never want to lose my ability to dream and think up " Ellie's bright ideas," but I hope to learn how to shape them in to something constructive and real. I want to re-establish my self-belief whilst continuing to grow as a person.

I worry about losing sight of whats already important in my life such as my family and relationships .The fact I will have to forge new relationships with people for at least the next three years is also daunting. I also feel that as I will be finishing my studies when I am thirty its imperative I get this right. Debt is a huge factor but I am willing to discipline myself and lessen my spending as I know without a degree and the right grounding it is highly possible that I will never turn the corner on to my chosen path.